me anywhere i go: i hope i don't see anyone i know
me at restaurants: is there wi-fi
me at the mountains: is there wi-fi
me at the beach: is there wi-fi
me at family parties: is there wi-fi
me at school: is there wi-fi
me in hell: is there wi-fi

side effects of being friends with me include gaining extensive knowledge of tv shows you dont watch or care about


  • british men have ruined my life

sometimes when i’m taking a shower i lean forward and let my hair dramatically fall in front of my face and pretend i just had some kind of heart shattering moment in the rain

and other times i collect water in my mouth and spit it at things like a squirtle


i wont rest until ive complained about everything